We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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