I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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