It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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