Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
