I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
