Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
