Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
