i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
