Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
