I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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