Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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