woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
soo... how was my night?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
