Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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