Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
