You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
