Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
