do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
