i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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