between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
