and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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