therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
