just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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