It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
