I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i now understand why vodka
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
