i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
