He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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