I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
