I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
