i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
