You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
