We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
