Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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