shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
