I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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