Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
