Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
