But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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