I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
