Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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