I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
