So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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