I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
