yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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