Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he high fived his dick after we had sex
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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