we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
