ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
