Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
