we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
