evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
