she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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