Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
