remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
