Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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